forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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