brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
