It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
