My brain says no but my pants say off.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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