Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think people are normalizing furries
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
