WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
