yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
