Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize