I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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