Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
