What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
