Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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