He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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