part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
