It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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