Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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