I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize