We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I CAN MOONWALK!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
