Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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