Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
