Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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