3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
