I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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