you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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