I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
