He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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