Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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