i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
