wat bout pragnant strippers??
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
