why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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