you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
