3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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