I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
