yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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