i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
