I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize