Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All the doctor said was why
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
