I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
