it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
