When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
