that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
