maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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