i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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