i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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