Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
