Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
