don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize