She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
