To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
