I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize