if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
