Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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