maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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