The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
