nut hugger
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
