its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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