My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
