Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
