Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
