wrigley field is MILF paradise
"it" just moved
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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