I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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