On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
