Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Mom said you looked used
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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