This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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