every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
