Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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