It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize