Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
