this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
