Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
