I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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