I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
