Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
